Prayer and the Family
I thought it appropriate today to start out with a mother/birth story
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T! Don’t, Won’t, Aren’t Weren’t"
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" I cried.
"It's perfectly normal," he reassured me, "She's just having her contractions."
pastor that makes a joke of childbirth on Mother’s day there is only one hope prayer Let’s Pray
Sermon Outline begins: Working Definition of Prayer: Getting honest with God- and letting God be honest with you.
Prayer therefore includes: Crying out to God- Listening silently to God- Sharing our hurts and dreams- But being honest with God also means confessing our sins and asking for forgiveness
Being Honest with God- Remember prayer is both vertical/internal and horizontal/external. That is to say our talking and listening to God effects our relationships in life. Today we are going to talk about some of those real life relationships that are deeply effected by prayer.
And if we are seeking to be people of prayer- that is People who seek to listen and talk honestly with God- we must include our closest relationships.
Today when I use the word family- I mean it to be those closest of relationships. Obviously there is the genetic family- but there also common situations where people are family because they have a long shared history together- even though they are in different family trees. So family today includes- Parent, children- biological, foster, step and adopted, siblings, grandchildren, nephews, nieces aunts and uncles,- very close friends- basically whomever you consider family
Prayer and the Family
Mark 3:20-21 [Jesus’ popularity is growing throughout the towns and countryside. People are traveling to see him and many seek healing. He has called his 12 disciples. And here we have this short paragraph- a tiny story smooshed in between other stories. But no less important.]
Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. 21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."
(from New International Version)- What a delightfully natural story. Jesus’ ministry/career got to a point where his work kept him from eating well. His family was not a bit happy about this situation. They, like a good loving family- didn’t blame the crowds for preventing Jesus from eating, no they lovingly blamed their own family member. What a heartwarming story
Let’s remember- Jesus is the Son of God- but he was also fully human- Jesus is a member of a very human family.
I wanted to share this story first, to set up the rest of our learning today. In this case Jesus’ family was blinded by the metaphorical log in their own eye, so much so that they could not understand the sacrifices involved with Jesus’ calling to teach and heal people. If they had succeeded in taking him away from people, and they did mean well, how could he have taught or healed? You see often- especially concerning family- we are tempted to take faith lessons and apply them to our family members- without thinking how we should apply the lesson in our own individual life, instead we often jump to those who we see as having “problems.” It may be very accurate to say that a family member has issues- but God wants you to work on taking the log out of your own eye first. As we talk about prayer and family- listen for your own self- not so you can fix someone else.
The conclusion to this story is this:
Mark 3:31-35, “Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."
33 "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.
34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."
(from New International Version)- Yikes! Did Jesus diss his family? What just happened? Jesus is teaching that His Kingdom- His Family is determined not by genetics but by obedience to the will of God. He is reminding His mother and brothers- “I am doing God’s will- if you take me away from these people you won’t be doing God’s will.”
Sometimes we think we have the best interest of a family member in mind- but we are not seeking the mind of God on the issue- we often seek only our own opinions and experiences to make our judgements- based heavily on prejudiced family history. We need to break out of the cycle of prejudging family if we are to really love them and be honest in prayer with them and for them.
Seek the mind of God for your family relationships- If your family relationships are only fed by happenstance and human experiences they will grow only accidentally. Put some intentionality into your family life. The life of God- that is Love. If you want change in your family- the first/ best place to work is your own self. - Oh but you don’t know so and so....
In praying for family members- pray for your heart to change towards them
Now hopefully we are all in the right place= listening and learning so that God can change us as an individual, which in turn will make change in our family systems
John 2:1-10, On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, 2 and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."
4 "Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My time has not yet come."
5 His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
6 Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. [big heavy things]
7 Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim.
8 Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet."
They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
(from New International Version)-
Why did Jesus do this miracle?
What do we make of Jesus’ exchange with his mother in verses 4+5
There is a common reading of this story that goes like this- Jesus was not ready to start his public ministry- woman why do you involve me?- Jesus saying this in a tone like- I am not here for making wine at parties
But I don’t agree with this reading of the scripture. I believe Jesus was a son who honored his Mother. He had likely been told the stories of the Angels and of his birth- the flight to Egypt. His mother had formed in Him a deep understanding of the ministry that he would lead. She knew it was time for her to give her blessing to Her son- between Jesus saying, “Dear woman, why do you involve me?”- Jesus’ use of the word woman may have been a respectful question within the question- that is- is it time for me to leave you- and his next words were, “My time has not yet come” and Mary saying “Do whatever he tells you”= there was likely much communicated without being said. A mother looking confidently and lovingly at her son- a son staring at His mother to see if it was time to leave home and fully begin his ministry.
The scriptures say a man will leave his father and mother to join with a woman and be married.
In Jesus’ case- he was not to marry- but in a sense this is His marriage moment- He is leaving the life at home and seeking to fashion himself a bride- which will be the church.
This is a mother letting go. A mother who knows that Her son will do great things
This story of water into wine is a family story- it is fitting that Jesus’ first public miracle is a family story.- How else is it a family story?
Well weddings were very important rituals back in the day. Weddings lasted seven days. Mary noticed they were out of wine- it was only the third day. This was not good. This would bring shame to the groom’s family and consequently cause a possible rift in this young marriage. It would be taken as a sign that one family didn’t plan for enough- didn’t take this wedding seriously- it could be interpreted as an insult.
Jesus and Mary were invited- not because Jesus was a famous teacher- he was not one yet. They were likely invited because they knew the family. The wedding was in their neck of the woods and they were either friends or of relation to the wedding party. Mary and Jesus didn’t want this marriage to begin with an embarrassment.
This miracle is not one of flamboyance- or showing off- it is one of love. He is doing what he can to prevent the embarrassment of a friend. In using the ritual jars/barrels he is actually violating a commonly held practice of not using these ritual jars for another purpose, but for Jesus love trumps ritual. Love for God, enemy, family, friend and neighbor should always triumph over ritual. Religious rituals are helpful when they remind us to be people of Christ by loving people. If we start to let the rituals block us from loving- what good are they? I like that these ritual jars are empty- Jesus has to say “fill them”- we are not to have empty rituals. We are to fill them full with love. This is a teaching within this teaching. Rituals: Lord’s Prayer, Jesus Prayer, Meal + Bedtime Prayers, Mowin
Wine in those days was not distilled- it would therefore have a very low alcohol content- the first wine served would be the least diluted- often wine would be diluted by adding much water. This is why the master of the banquet- who was kind of the party planner of that day said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
What does this story/miracle teach us about family and prayer?
Jesus doesn’t want your family shamed. What does this mean?
Look out for each other- Listen to God. Encourage each other’s life ministry.
Error on the side of grace and love, not ritual and law- seek love in prayer- not discipline- If you find love you will develop discipline- but if you seek discipline and ritual you may never find love. [My disciplines- Lord’s prayer, Jesus prayer, church. Family- meals, bedtime-]
Don’t dilute your love for family- give them your best- by being who God called you to be- Our families may not understand sometimes- (Mark 3 story).
Celebrate Life- a life of prayer- is a way of seeing the goodness- in family- prayer leads to deep joy- joy that is appreciated in good times and bad
Prayer- being honest with God- and letting God be honest with us- is meant for the best and worst of times and all times in between.
Illustration for Scripture: Mom’s quilt- what do we do in the darkness. How do we live out our relationship with God- Do we do follow Christ only when it is seen by others- or are we deeply in relationship with God- living it all out, even in the dark.
When I take time to really listen to God- I am a better husband, father, son and brother- When I take to be honest with God- even in the dark times- I am more patient, more forgiving, more loving.
Don’t just pray for people in your family to be changed by God- which is okay.
But the better and more narrow road- is to Pray for God to change you- and help you live out your life and calling. God doesn’t magically take the life transformative presence of the Holy Spirit places- he uses real, humble, courageous people of faith to take the loving of Spirit of God to people.
Change the question from- “Why don’t you change this person God?” to “God- show me how I can love X”
My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T! Don’t, Won’t, Aren’t Weren’t"
"Doctor, what's wrong with my wife!" I cried.
"It's perfectly normal," he reassured me, "She's just having her contractions."
pastor that makes a joke of childbirth on Mother’s day there is only one hope prayer Let’s Pray
Sermon Outline begins: Working Definition of Prayer: Getting honest with God- and letting God be honest with you.
Prayer therefore includes: Crying out to God- Listening silently to God- Sharing our hurts and dreams- But being honest with God also means confessing our sins and asking for forgiveness
Being Honest with God- Remember prayer is both vertical/internal and horizontal/external. That is to say our talking and listening to God effects our relationships in life. Today we are going to talk about some of those real life relationships that are deeply effected by prayer.
And if we are seeking to be people of prayer- that is People who seek to listen and talk honestly with God- we must include our closest relationships.
Today when I use the word family- I mean it to be those closest of relationships. Obviously there is the genetic family- but there also common situations where people are family because they have a long shared history together- even though they are in different family trees. So family today includes- Parent, children- biological, foster, step and adopted, siblings, grandchildren, nephews, nieces aunts and uncles,- very close friends- basically whomever you consider family
Prayer and the Family
Mark 3:20-21 [Jesus’ popularity is growing throughout the towns and countryside. People are traveling to see him and many seek healing. He has called his 12 disciples. And here we have this short paragraph- a tiny story smooshed in between other stories. But no less important.]
Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. 21 When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, "He is out of his mind."
(from New International Version)- What a delightfully natural story. Jesus’ ministry/career got to a point where his work kept him from eating well. His family was not a bit happy about this situation. They, like a good loving family- didn’t blame the crowds for preventing Jesus from eating, no they lovingly blamed their own family member. What a heartwarming story
Let’s remember- Jesus is the Son of God- but he was also fully human- Jesus is a member of a very human family.
I wanted to share this story first, to set up the rest of our learning today. In this case Jesus’ family was blinded by the metaphorical log in their own eye, so much so that they could not understand the sacrifices involved with Jesus’ calling to teach and heal people. If they had succeeded in taking him away from people, and they did mean well, how could he have taught or healed? You see often- especially concerning family- we are tempted to take faith lessons and apply them to our family members- without thinking how we should apply the lesson in our own individual life, instead we often jump to those who we see as having “problems.” It may be very accurate to say that a family member has issues- but God wants you to work on taking the log out of your own eye first. As we talk about prayer and family- listen for your own self- not so you can fix someone else.
The conclusion to this story is this:
Mark 3:31-35, “Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. 32 A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."
33 "Who are my mother and my brothers?" he asked.
34 Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! 35 Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."
(from New International Version)- Yikes! Did Jesus diss his family? What just happened? Jesus is teaching that His Kingdom- His Family is determined not by genetics but by obedience to the will of God. He is reminding His mother and brothers- “I am doing God’s will- if you take me away from these people you won’t be doing God’s will.”
Sometimes we think we have the best interest of a family member in mind- but we are not seeking the mind of God on the issue- we often seek only our own opinions and experiences to make our judgements- based heavily on prejudiced family history. We need to break out of the cycle of prejudging family if we are to really love them and be honest in prayer with them and for them.
Seek the mind of God for your family relationships- If your family relationships are only fed by happenstance and human experiences they will grow only accidentally. Put some intentionality into your family life. The life of God- that is Love. If you want change in your family- the first/ best place to work is your own self. - Oh but you don’t know so and so....
In praying for family members- pray for your heart to change towards them
Now hopefully we are all in the right place= listening and learning so that God can change us as an individual, which in turn will make change in our family systems
John 2:1-10, On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, 2 and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. 3 When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."
4 "Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My time has not yet come."
5 His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
6 Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons. [big heavy things]
7 Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim.
8 Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet."
They did so, 9 and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10 and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
(from New International Version)-
Why did Jesus do this miracle?
What do we make of Jesus’ exchange with his mother in verses 4+5
There is a common reading of this story that goes like this- Jesus was not ready to start his public ministry- woman why do you involve me?- Jesus saying this in a tone like- I am not here for making wine at parties
But I don’t agree with this reading of the scripture. I believe Jesus was a son who honored his Mother. He had likely been told the stories of the Angels and of his birth- the flight to Egypt. His mother had formed in Him a deep understanding of the ministry that he would lead. She knew it was time for her to give her blessing to Her son- between Jesus saying, “Dear woman, why do you involve me?”- Jesus’ use of the word woman may have been a respectful question within the question- that is- is it time for me to leave you- and his next words were, “My time has not yet come” and Mary saying “Do whatever he tells you”= there was likely much communicated without being said. A mother looking confidently and lovingly at her son- a son staring at His mother to see if it was time to leave home and fully begin his ministry.
The scriptures say a man will leave his father and mother to join with a woman and be married.
In Jesus’ case- he was not to marry- but in a sense this is His marriage moment- He is leaving the life at home and seeking to fashion himself a bride- which will be the church.
This is a mother letting go. A mother who knows that Her son will do great things
This story of water into wine is a family story- it is fitting that Jesus’ first public miracle is a family story.- How else is it a family story?
Well weddings were very important rituals back in the day. Weddings lasted seven days. Mary noticed they were out of wine- it was only the third day. This was not good. This would bring shame to the groom’s family and consequently cause a possible rift in this young marriage. It would be taken as a sign that one family didn’t plan for enough- didn’t take this wedding seriously- it could be interpreted as an insult.
Jesus and Mary were invited- not because Jesus was a famous teacher- he was not one yet. They were likely invited because they knew the family. The wedding was in their neck of the woods and they were either friends or of relation to the wedding party. Mary and Jesus didn’t want this marriage to begin with an embarrassment.
This miracle is not one of flamboyance- or showing off- it is one of love. He is doing what he can to prevent the embarrassment of a friend. In using the ritual jars/barrels he is actually violating a commonly held practice of not using these ritual jars for another purpose, but for Jesus love trumps ritual. Love for God, enemy, family, friend and neighbor should always triumph over ritual. Religious rituals are helpful when they remind us to be people of Christ by loving people. If we start to let the rituals block us from loving- what good are they? I like that these ritual jars are empty- Jesus has to say “fill them”- we are not to have empty rituals. We are to fill them full with love. This is a teaching within this teaching. Rituals: Lord’s Prayer, Jesus Prayer, Meal + Bedtime Prayers, Mowin
Wine in those days was not distilled- it would therefore have a very low alcohol content- the first wine served would be the least diluted- often wine would be diluted by adding much water. This is why the master of the banquet- who was kind of the party planner of that day said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
What does this story/miracle teach us about family and prayer?
Jesus doesn’t want your family shamed. What does this mean?
Look out for each other- Listen to God. Encourage each other’s life ministry.
Error on the side of grace and love, not ritual and law- seek love in prayer- not discipline- If you find love you will develop discipline- but if you seek discipline and ritual you may never find love. [My disciplines- Lord’s prayer, Jesus prayer, church. Family- meals, bedtime-]
Don’t dilute your love for family- give them your best- by being who God called you to be- Our families may not understand sometimes- (Mark 3 story).
Celebrate Life- a life of prayer- is a way of seeing the goodness- in family- prayer leads to deep joy- joy that is appreciated in good times and bad
Prayer- being honest with God- and letting God be honest with us- is meant for the best and worst of times and all times in between.
Illustration for Scripture: Mom’s quilt- what do we do in the darkness. How do we live out our relationship with God- Do we do follow Christ only when it is seen by others- or are we deeply in relationship with God- living it all out, even in the dark.
When I take time to really listen to God- I am a better husband, father, son and brother- When I take to be honest with God- even in the dark times- I am more patient, more forgiving, more loving.
Don’t just pray for people in your family to be changed by God- which is okay.
But the better and more narrow road- is to Pray for God to change you- and help you live out your life and calling. God doesn’t magically take the life transformative presence of the Holy Spirit places- he uses real, humble, courageous people of faith to take the loving of Spirit of God to people.
Change the question from- “Why don’t you change this person God?” to “God- show me how I can love X”
posted by Palouse Fed. Church at 4:09 PM
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